Don’t you hate awkward silences? God forbid, conversation runs so dry that all you can think to talk about is the weather! I live in England, it’s rainy or overcast most of the time. Bringing that up just makes conversation as grey as the clouds.
One of my dreams for the future is to run a pub. The kind with old mismatching leather chairs, wooden beams, brick log fires, plenty of nooks, soft lighting, live chilled music, locally sourced delicious yet nourishing food, and most importantly an atmosphere that makes it easy to get to know people.
People connecting and bonding is one of my top favourite things. Most likely because it’s a key to love. To love another, you must truly know them. And how do you get to know people? Asking questions. I love the initial dating stage of a new relationship, where couples incessantly ask each other questions, from “what’s your favourite ice cream flavour?”, to, “if you could have a super power, what would it be and why?”.
Asking questions is as easy to me as breathing. I love knowing people’s hearts. As soon as a person reveals a tiny smidgen of their heart, I catch on to it, and pursue it, so that I can know who they really are, behind any mask they may put on. And if it’s not the condition of their heart, then it’s their desires and dreams.
I love being asked questions too. I love being known, being seen for who I really am and accepted for it. I love it when someone intentionally chooses to understand me. I reckon everyone feels this way. Everyone wants to be loved.
So, I mentioned that the reason I’d want to run a pub, would be to create an atmosphere where people can get to know each other. One of the ways I’d do this would be napkins with different questions on, or on the table cloths, or in the frames, or on the lampshades, or on the candles. And apparently the creators of this beer, had the same idea. Keep the conversation going.
Tell a story, ask them to tell a story. I love it when conversation moves on to embarassing stories- or anything that gets you all laughing. Laughter- especially the hysterical helpless kind is the best kind of laughter.
Do what it takes to keep getting to know the one in front of you. Let’s not be known as the generation that can’t get through dinner without checking facebook. Facebook is social media, but it becomes radically anti social if it drags you away from face to face conversation. Online messaging never adequately displays emotion. I know my sarcasm always gets taken as offensive. Face to face means you’re more likely to be understood- people see the laughter and the love in your eyes, the cheeky smile, and the earnest expression.
I value words, but partnered with touch, or facial expressions words become so much more valuable. I joke that you can ask me “How are you?” and I’ll say I’m fine. But if someone asks me the same question with concern in their face, and they’re touching my arm, I’ll spill my heart out there and then. And everyone’s different.
And THAT’s what’s most exhilarating about meeting new people: every person thinks and feels and acts differently. And we all want to be discovered and explored. Let the adventure begin!
- Disrupt that Awkward Elevator Silence (cgrealestatepros.wordpress.com)
- A Disconnect (jaimiespaperairplanes.wordpress.com)