Mr Hanks talks in a way I’ve never known real life men to speak. It makes me wonder how they get men to do soppy romance movies, because they have to speak so, well soppy. My friend says it’s the same reason they can get women to parade around in their knickers for more male focussed publications.
I know men that are poetic, and I know men that are in tune with their hearts, and know how to verbalise it. But movies are always on a whole other level!
Meg Ryan’s character is like many people that I know, including me, who can’t ever come up with a quick fire response, but can come up with a million things during the rest of the day after the event. Tom Hanks’ character, speaks without thinking, and instantly feels remorse. Do you ever regret saying something?
Now their solution is to swap places, and exchange their abilities. He wishes not to unleash hurtful comments, and she wished to be able to come up with something so that she doesn’t feel so belittled by somebody else.
I don’t recommend the intentional hurling of nasty comments. Like I’ve said before, words are powerful and they can either build somebody up, or destroy them. I’d rather not be responsible for destroying somebody!
So what’s another solution for maintaining self respect, and not tolerating being disrespected, while still having respect for others?
It’s another balancing game. Is it showing them greater respect to let them speak their mind, or to share your heart? In sharing your heart, you’re respecting them, by being honest with them about how their words or actions make you feel, and how it effects your relationship with them. It can be more disrespectful to speak your mind, or speak from an emotional response like anger, because you aren’t showing a willingness to understand the reasons behind their actions.
Being the best version of yourself, requires you to know that no matter how someone treats you, you’re still the same person. This is held in balance with the knowledge that, because of who you are, you deserve to be treated well.
I suppose this runs along with that old adage, “treat others how you wish to be treated”, and I say go beyond that, go the extra mile: shock them with your level of respect for them. Build a relationship that’s really spectacular. Spectacular because it’s based on more than what you get from each other, and instead, what you can give to the other. And do so, mutually. All relationships should be equal in how much is given/taken.