There’s a difference between what is true, and what is real.
Real is your current experience of something. Real is how you see life, how you think, and react and naturally respond. It’s your “normal”. You may thoroughly believe that what you think is right, because it’s real to you.
It’s funny how what you believe, or perceive becomes the reality of what you experience. If you think you’re a funny person, you’ll naturally express yourself in a way that makes people laugh. Like with me, I spent many months last year, learning these different facets of my personality. Sometimes I’m the centre of attention, because I’m sharing a story, I’m using hand actions, facial expressions and body movements to fully express my experience. Other times, I just love to listen to people’s hearts. I barely say a word unless it’s to ask a question to draw out more. I used to think, if I was being quiet, I wasn’t being me. The “real” me was extroverted, confident, bold. If I were to limit myself that way, I’d never discover what’s in other people. As it happens, I just got real low, and thought something was wrong with me if I was being quiet, then I’d search within myself and I’d try to fix me. I learnt that introspection is introvertion’s evil cousin!
But hey- reality check: I don’t need to be fixed! Nobody does! The shocking truth is that who we are, all our ism’s and traits and behaviour habits are amazing! Nobody else on the face of the planet has all the facets that we have. Maybe no one has a trait that you have! The world would be missing out if you weren’t showing it. That social gathering is not gonna be the same without you there. You don’t miss out by not going to a party: they do!
In balance with that, you don’t have to stay the way you are. You can grow and develop. You can ease out bad habits and pick up new ones. You can change the way you think about yourself, and in so doing, it will change what occurs in your life. Our individual realities are not the concrete truth of what should be or what shouldn’t. Something may be real to you, but it’s not going to be true for everyone, and inevitably, might not have to be true for you. Not forever at least.
Change must come from a place in your heart that’s happy with who you are, yet hungry for growth. It’s like saying to yourself, yeah I’m getting an A grade, but that’s at college level, I wanna get an A at University level. Don’t change yourself because you hate things about you. You need a vision for what you want to be like. And then make adjustments toward that. Does “future-you” have success in a career? Or a gaggle of children? Or selling inventions for millions of pounds?
There’s hope. Always. And there’s not just hope: with perseverance, one can change the way they think, and become more positive in their outlook. And those thoughts fuel the way to you becoming who you dream of being.
Intentionally choose thoughts that lead to life.